Wounded Heart
by xXxSlashGashTerrorCrewxXx
Summary: The anxiety, the stress, all the eyes that keep peering at you while you walk by. Sometimes you just need a little stress relief,anyway you can get it. Dr. Spencer Reid has had some tough times, but their about to get a lot tougher with Derek Morgan around.
1. Chapter 1

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter 1_

**_Yes, I'm uploading another story in the same day as... five others. You know I'm an angsty person so this is self harm and things that will lead up to some big ass yaoi... but for now you will have to deal with this. Um... oh yeah I was upset when I wrote this so if there are any mistakes then please let me know because I tend to do everything at warp speed and not go back to chang anything. _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own, the good people at CBS who brought us this show own it, so please enjoy their hard work!_**

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><p>He drew the blade across, enjoying the feeling of relaxation and pain that had over taken him. The blade came down and across again making twin red slashes on the skin. All the rage left his body to be replaced by contentness. Spencer Reid knew this wasn't the healthiest way, but it was the next best thing to the dialude. Once more the blade came in contact with the pale skin this time making his whole body go numb from the emotional exastion and insomnia it had been through in the past few months.<p>

The team had to witness the exicution of a girl around the age of fifteen; the un-sub had kidnapped a young girl from her home town in Texas and left threats that if they did not find him in three days and twenty minutes he would kill her no matter what. Reid had figured out who it was and where to find him and the girl, only to arrive one minute late. That one minute would rest on his shoulders for ever, if he could have figured it out sooner that girl could have been saved. Then Rossi had gotten shot almost two days after that in Arizona by some amature bank robber who was just trying to get some money to feed his addiction and his kids at the same time; a man in his twenties with two daughters, and a friend called opium addiction, had been trying to rob a bank but was way to jittery and scared to even even out the direction of his gun. Rossi, Reid and Hotch had been the first to arrive and where going to try and calm him down, and i seemed to have worked. They walked in and the man just took a wild shot before runnign off. That shot seemed to have been better then he hopped because it hit Rossi in his side, right were the vest ended. He survived but Reid had to sit there and put pressure on the wound while Hotch got the paramedics in there. He wondred if he could ever forget the way his teamated blood felt running through his fingers. Nothing had gone right from there, first it was Morgan, then Prentiss and even J.J. had gotten hurt on the job. His emotions had been juggling for a while and they seemed to be staying thay way. One day he would be filled with rage and the next minute he would be calm as a bee on weed.

Spencer lifted his arm up to watch the blood trickle down and dissapear into his bunched sleeve. This was the thing that had gotten him through the past month, cutting, that's what made all the pain and bad memories go away, leaving the good ones behind to bring him back from the edge and make him remeber why he didn't just slice it up his arm and watch as his life and blood flowed out of him, leaving the dead empty shell of former Dr. Spencer Reid.

Feeling enough of his strenght coming back the good Doctor picked him self up and moved towards the sink to wash off the blood before he had to have another day in the company of his peers who would watch him carefully and examine every move that he makes. It drove him insane! Why could they just not pay attention to him like ninty-nine precent of the female population did? That's what he gets for working with a bunch of profilers.

Now with his bandaged arm and a little stressed released he made his way to work to spend another day with his 'family' and the wicked people of earth.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

At work, things had gotten tense between him and his coworkers. Ever since he almost broke down about the little girl who he was a minute late for, that minute would never stop haunting him, they had started to keep a sharp eye on the genius and keeping track of any sign that he was hooked again.

They were getting briefed in the 'round table' room when his mind started to drift to a very common thought topic. '_What would it be like to just let them find out every thing or just leave?'_

This topic came up often, he always wondered if they would come looking for him or just let him be. He could always cover his trail, he knew how better then anyone there, and he had no one who cared for him except his mother who was 'detained' at the moment. It would be the easiest thing in the world to just get up and leave.

"Reid,"

Every time he thought of it the idea seemed to get more and more appealing to him and his heart which he wasn't sure could take much more of this.

"Reid,"

No one would look, that is for sure a certian thing, they didn't look for Gideon when he left, but where would he go?

"Reid!" Derek reached out and grabbed his wrist bringing it up to try and pull his attention towards the older team member. Reid hissed in a breath of pain while yanking his arm away craddling it to his chest, eyes shut in pain while he waited for the throbbing to subside.

Derek looked at him in surprise. "Hey, Pretty boy, you ok?" He knew the answer but thought it be curdious to ask anyways.

Reid looked up with a forced smile and in a strangled voice replied, "Yeah, I sprained my wrist yesterday, gotta learn to stack my books better." He knew he sounded convincing, he made sure to make no room for error as to not raise suspicion. Although by the look on Morgans face, he knew he did not buy it for a second, although the others seemed to buy it easy enough. "Sorry Reid." Morgan said before turning back to J.J. who went back to explaning, now having the entire teams focus.

By the looks Morgan kept sending him he knew that today would be a long exhusting day.

The case J.J. had picked was quite an wasy one; four women in their twenties had dissapered from there homes in Texas and then turned up dead three days later. C.O.D. was ligiture marks around the neck from repetive stranggling, apparently not enough to kill them, and slit wrist, which would have made them bleed out slowly making death a painful event.

This made Spencers wrist throb; what would it be like to feel your life slip through your fingers slowly as your blood pooled around you. No, he had to concentrate on the case. They would be leaving in twenty minutes for the jet, he could do this, mabey.

X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X!X?X

The plane ride was just awful, that was the best word he could come up with in his vocabulary at the moment. Turbulance, was the first thing that happened. They had been in the air mabey five minutes before he felt the giant craft start to shake, which scared him half to death. After that it was a little collection of things; he kept figiting not being able to get comfortable, his head kept lolling because he kept falling asleep, occuring in the inevitable of his head actually coming in contact with the table itself and him falling out of his chair. By the time they got off the plane Reid felt like he just ran a marathon.

Everyone was worried about the young man but didn't want to ask _that _question incase it was in fact the truth. Reid didn't say anything the whole way to the police station. Though after they got there it seemed more like he wouldn't shut up, he was spouting random facts like a fountine with a leak, and half of them weren't relivent to the case.

Morgan was about ready to slap Reid upside the head to see if it would turn him off. "Reid, are you okay?" he asked wondering if the younger just needed to talk about something. Spencer looked up from the papers he was looking through. "mmmmh, I don't think so, oh but I did solve the case." he added like it was nothing of any importance.

Derek couldn't believe what just came out of his mouth! "So," he said trying to sound as calm as possible. "You solved the case, and when where you planing on telling the rest of us?" His voice had gone from calm to angry disbiliefe. Spencer looked up from the papers again and looked thoughful for a minute. "Well i solved it about ten minutes ago, I guess it slipped my mind." Morgan was about ready to kill this kid, 'it slipped his mind?'

"Okay so how about filling us in so we can go catch this sonovabitch?" He couldn't hold his cool anymore he lost all control and patients. He walked, or more like stomped, his way over to where Hotch and the other members of the team were giving the other cops the profile. "Hey, Spencer figured it out." He said and without another word the others followed him back to the genius.

Reid was leaning back in the chair basically asleep, but thanks to the insomnia could't quite reach that point. He was startled awake when he heard the door to the little office they were set up in slam shut and had his teammates staring at him. "Reid did you slove it?" Asked Hotch, skeptical at how fast he figured it out. The sleepy agent nodded, stretching his muscles. They all kept staring at him and to be honest it was creeping him out. "So who did it?" asked Rossi a little annoyed.

"Oh yeah, it's one of the cops out there, uh, Torez if I remeber correctly." They were amazed that he could acusse an officer of the law, but weirder people have been killers.

"Are you one hundred present sure, how do you know?" Reid got up and handed them a schedual of times, dates, and a map of kill zones. "He was the closest to each residence when they were called in; he was checked out a day before each of the victims reapered and was the one who found them, and also all the places they found the victims would be close to his comfort zone, which is the cabin his family owned in the woods." He stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Morgan peered at Reid curiously, he wondered had he been wringing his wrist this whole time, and was that a bandage poking out from under his sweater? Nevertheless he left the kid alone, for now.

X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X=X

In the end Spencer was right, like usual. Torez had tried to run, the international sign of guilt, when they called and asked him to come into the office. He confessed imidietly, afraid of Morgan pounding his face in, and had been confined in one of the cells in the station.

All Reid knew those was that he was happy to be home in his apartment, but instead of heading straight for a book or to try to sleep, he headed to the bathroom where he had his little metal friend. It was like a routine by now; roll up a sleeve, place the blade to his wrist and drag. He let out a sigh of relief, finally he could relax. He placed the blade against his flesh again when...

'_knock, Knock,_' "Spencer!" Morgans voice called from the other side of the his apartment door.

"Ahh!" Spencer gasped in pain. He had gotten scared when he heard the knocking and accidently dragged it to deep in the wrong direction going up the arm instead of across. Louder knocks came from the door. "Spencer come on open up kid." Derek was getting impatient, he could tell, which had reid scurring around trying to find something to wrap his arm in. "Spencer..!" God, Morgan couldn't be patient for a second could he. He started to feel slightly dizzy, but ignored it grabbing a towel and basically running to the door. He opened it just in time because the older agent was in his 'kick your door down' pose. His arm was behing his back as much as possible without drawing attention to it.

"What do you want Morgan?" Reid asked sharply. His rage was returning along with the anxiety. Said man took in Spencers apperence before walking closer to the kid at a pace that had him panicing because he knew exactly what he was going to do. "Wait, Morgan I-" Derek had almost grabbed ahold of his arm when he twisted back just enough for him to miss. "Reid if you are not doing what I think you're doing then we don't have a problem, just let me see your arm."

Spencer backed away from him as far as he could till he felt the arm of the couch hit his legs. "Please, Morgan I'm not doing anything." All of the stress he managed to keep at bay for the last few hours had come back with a vengence, he felt like he was going to hyperventalate any seconde by the way his breathing had spead up.

"Then let me see your arm." This time Spencer had no where to run. Morgan had come face to face with Reid and grabbed ahold of his slender arm. Tears came dangerously close to spilling from the youngers hazel eyes. His secret was about to be discovered by the one person he did not want to know. "Derek, please, no" He was basically begging by now that he wouldn't do this. Morgan had managed to get his arm around so he could see, and the sight he saw was not pretty. "Ah, Spencer."

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><p><em><strong>Yup yup, I feel like leaving all of you with a cliffy for today... and posably the rest of the week and a month... depends on how fast I type.<strong>_

_**Please stay tuned, you may never know when we have another chapter of Wounded Heart!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter 2_

**_Yeah so I can not quite talk now but thanks to my one, lone, single reviewer who understands where this is going. I thank you and all my readers who have enjoyed this story. Please continue reading! Ja!_**

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><p>It was all over. He knew, Morgan knew and now he was going to tell. Spencer stood completely still as Derek still held his wrist in his tight grip not letting up.<p>

"Pretty Boy, what did you do?" Derek asked softly staring down at the long red bleeding gash going across Reid's arm. Tears were streaming down Spencer's face by this point, a million thoughts running through his brain trying to process the situation. Derek looked up into the kids eyes, who never left the mans, and returned his look with a pitied and sympathetic one.

That look brought the young genius out of his thoughts and back to into the situation at hand. He started to panic and tried to yank his wrist back out of his grip once again. "L-let go." Morgan's grip tightened and then reached out to take a hold of his shoulder as well.

"Reid calm down, it's going to be alright just stop straining you're making the bleeding worse." Spencer didn't seem to hear him seeing as he was still trying to yank his arm out of his grip. "Please, please Morgan let go, please." He was basically pleading now, but his struggling started to weaken.

The room was spinning and it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to connect one logical thought to the next. He slumped down to his knees trying to keep the nausea at bay as to not empty the contents of his stomach on his living room floor. Morgan was saying something to him that sounded like 'everything will be okay' but he couldn't be sure for the thumping of his heart in his ears. He felt as if he could faint right there he was so tired. Hands were placed under his legs and behind his back as he was lifted into the air and carried somewhere. It was so hard staying awake when all he wanted to do was sleep, but something, including Derek's voice, was telling him to stay awake.

Derek didn't know what to do though as he carried the young genius into his room and placed him on the bed. Reid's wrist was still bleeding and didn't look like it was letting up anytime soon. He headed into the bathroom to search for a first aid kit when his eyes spotted something silver and shiny on the white tile floor. A sick feeling crept up on him as he realized it was a blade, one he must have been using when Derek interrupted, but didn't pay too much attention to it as he passed it to grab the first aid kit he found under the sink. When he got back to Spencer he could hear his labored breathing and knew that was never a good sign.

Reid felt more then saw Morgan grab his arm and start to bandage it up. The pain he felt was almost like it wasn't even real. "Spencer," He heard his name called grabbing what little of his conscious attention was left. "Rest, the paramedics will be here in a few minutes." He couldn't even protest as he felt the grips of consciousness ripped from him and dropped him into darkness.

*~*~*~At the hospital~*~*~*

'_hmmm, so bright...'_ Spencer Reid opened his eyes only to be met with the bright white walls of a hospital room. He felt so heavy and numb, it wasn't bad it just gave him more of an apathetic feeling. He turned his neck to the left where he saw a very tires looking Morgan sleeping with a furrowed brow. Had he been there all this time? What happened after Derek found out? All these questions were running through his mind that was working on over drive trying to comprehend everything that was going on. Though the one thing that was really driving him to insanity was did Derek tell the rest of the team?

The sleeping agent started to stir lightly before he moved to get up, opening his eyes that met those of a wide eyed Spencer. "Pretty Boy," He started while getting up. "How are you feeling?" He asked with a semi serious and semi worried tone. Derek wasn't quit sure how to handle this. It wasn't like the drugs where the kid could get help with other people who felt like him, this situation was much more sensitive subject.

Reid stared at him, not really knowing what to do. Slowly he sat up with the little energy he had and looked around, it didn't look like any one else was there or had ever been there. "I-i'm fine." He said quietly. He raised his arm up to push some of his hair back when the white bandage caught his eye. "Morgan... did you-" He was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

"No, not all of the team knows." Derek said. Reid whipped his head around to look at Morgan. "What do you mean 'not all the team'?" Morgan gave him a look of something like apoligeticness. "I needed someone to get some of your stuff and-"

"Who did you tell?" Spencer cut him off before he could try to make any more half assed apoliges. The older agent looked him in the eyes. "J.J. and Emily."

Reid could have fell off the hospital bed from hearing those names. Of all the people he could of told it had to be the them, the women who were as close to him as family. He stared down at his palms, and his bandaged up arm, wishing this was just a horrible dream he could wake up from. No, this though was reality and no matter how many times he wanted it to be a dream it was always going to be real.

He sighed. "Are.. are they here?" Derek walked a little closer to Reid, not knowing how this was going to play out, before answering his question. "Yeah, they are. They have been waiting for you too wake up and should be back any minute." The geniuses hands turned into hard fist. "Leave." He said in a quiet yet harsh tone that had Morgan taken back. He was expecting the kid to break down not get angry.

"I can't do that kid. Look if you need to talk you can talk to me or one of the girls when they get back." He felt somewhere in his gut that if he left Reid alone to long something bad was going to happen. "Please if you want to do me a favore then let me have my peace." Spencer just wanted to be alone for a minute to collect his thoughts if that wasn't to much to ask. "I can't-" "_Fine_, then wait out side the door or something, but please just leave!"

Derek stared at the youngers still form for a moment before walking over to the door and turning the knob open. "Fine, J.J. and Prentiss should be back soon. Do you want them to see you?" A small shrug of the shoulders is all he got before he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Reid unclenched his hands and opened them to see four red half moons in his palms. Why did Morgan have to find out? Of all people he knew the older agent would try every thing in his power to fix this even if he couldn't ever fix it. Then J.J. and Emily knew and he was not quit sure how they would react. He wanted to cry and scream all his frustrations out but he knew if he did they would most likely sedate him and restrain him to the bed so he could not move even a single inch.

He tensed when a small knock was heard on his door and was opened to reveal the two faces he was most dreading to see. They came in with smiles on their faces, even though they were some what forced, and an extra cup of coffe along with their own. "Hey Spenc, are you doing any better?" Asked J.J. who handed the extra cup to said man who took the warm caffinated drink with appreciation and a small nod to her question. Emily came around to the other side of the bed and squeezed his shoulder.

He looked down into the styraphom cup in his hand before speaking in a stranggled voice as a few silent tears ran down his face. "Please, please get me out of here." J.J. saw them and brought his head down into the croock of her neck and let him silently cry while Emily rubbed his back in small circles. This all broke their hearts. J.J. Whispered in his ear in her soothing motherly tone. "Okay Spencer, just hang on."

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><p><em><strong>I know I keep ending these with a cliffy but that just makes you want to read on. I promise to update more often on this story because I know I dont enough.<strong>_

_**So please stay tuned for the next chapter of Wounded Heart!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter Three_

**_Okay, so I have number three up finally. I think this one might be pushing it towards the end but I was tired last night and just wanted to finish it. I hope this is actually good and nothing is spelled wrong... I still need to get a beta and stuff... oh well on with the story!_**

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><p>Derek stood outside the door listening while his best friend cried to the two girls, but not to him. It wasn't that he was envious of them because this was most definitely not the time and or place for that, but it would have been nice if Spencer felt like he could confide in him as well instead of pushing him away. This whole situation was too much for him. If he knew how to handle this he would of as soon as he saw the signs, but it slipped through his radar as even a simple possibility that his Pretty boy could do anything like this.<p>

The door to Reid's room opened and closed with Prentiss on the other side. She looked at Morgan before walking over to the small waiting area with the male agent not far behind. She sat in a hard wooden chair and put her elbows on her knees, he nerves a little strung up.

"So, is everything okay?" Morgan asked. Emily looked up at him with a sorrowful look in her eyes. "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure." She said getting up once again. She had so many thoughts running through her mind she couldn't possibly sit still. "Spencer looks drained; I don't know exactly what to do here."

Morgan came over to her and pulled her into a big comforting hug. He knew exactly how she felt. None of them knew what to do really. Not even J.J. who was still in the small hospital room comforting the crying man. Derek held Emily at arms with, looking straight into her eyes. "Look, none of us know how to deal with this right now. The thing that we need to do is help Spencer anyway we can." Prentiss nodded in agreement.

J.J. walked out of the room closing the door behind her before letting out a heavy sigh. The other two saw her and walked over. "Well," She said. "He's asleep. He said he wanted to leave as soon as possible, do you think we should?"

"I don't think making Spencer stay here would be a good idea. He would just check himself out anyways." Derek said knowing how stubborn the kid could be. "Derek, it's not that simple is it?" She asked. "I mean he's _cutting,_ he tried to kill himself; how are we suppose to handle something like this?"

"Look," He said. "The best thing we can do is help him. If it will make it easier for us to do it at his own home where he feels more comfortable then I say we do it."

Prentiss was about to say something when the Doctor came up to them. He told them that Reid would be fine, though he hadn't been eating much and was very malnourished and dehydrated, and he would be prescribing a regimen of anti-depressants for two weeks. The three nodded as the doctor turned to walk back down the white hall but stopped and turned back to them. "There is something else." He said gaining their attention easily. "He will need to be kept under strict 24/7 super-vision for those two weeks, and perhaps longer, until we can be sure he will not do this again." Reminding them to get the prescription filled out as soon as possible he left them to decide what the next step would be.

Reid felt a sick chill run up his spine as he laid there in the white hospital bed staring at the ceiling. He had to have 24/7 super-vision, they mine as well put a freaking leash on him! He didn't need to be babysat by his friends never the less his co-workers. Every single one of them had a job to do so they couldn't keep an eye on him all the time, and he was certainly not staying in a hospital any longer than necessary. He pulled his arm up and across his eyes covering them. What was going to happen? A feeling of anxiety and the need to vomit slowly started to creep up on him when the sound of a door opening caught his attention.

Derek, followed by the two women, came back into the room and stood around Spencer's bed. He didn't move, no one said anything. "So," Reid said regaining his composure. "What's going to happen?" There was no emotion in his words just a tired tone.

Morgan spoke up first. "The doctor said we can take you home if you wanted to leave." None of them knew that Reid had heard the whole conversation and he wasn't about to let on that he knew either. He pulled his arm away from his eyes and looked up into the deep brown ones of Derek. "Of course I want to leave, do you really think I would want to stay?" He said rhetorically with an annoyed expression upon his face.

Prentiss interjected before Morgan could say respond. "Okay then we just need to decide whose place you will be staying at." The young man looked at her with a cold expression that she wasn't use to. "I will be staying at my own apartment thank you; I do not need to be babysat."

"Look Spence, We are just doing what the doctor said. We really are just trying to help." J.J. said hopping that he would not put up too much of a fight. He closed his eyes in agitation. "The best way to help me is to stay out of my problems. It really does not concern any of you, friends or not, it is my business." The room went quiet before Morgan spoke with tone of finality and cold tiredness. "Either you can stay here in the Hospital and be psych evaluated until they see fit to release you or you can come home with us and let us help. It is your choice."

Spencer's eyes became wide in shock. He had never been spoken to by the older agent like that none the less in a way he only could perceive as a threat. The worst part was he knew that the man meant it. Reid's expression went from shock to a hard thoughtful look, but even he knew he didn't have to think that hard about the decision.

"Fine," Spencer sighed, bowing his head down letting his bangs fall hiding his eyes. "You can decide how this is going to work, just please get me out of here."

*~*~*~Morgan's Residence~*~*~*

It was about twelve thirty in the morning when the dark oak door opened and Reid and Morgan stepped in. Morgan lived in a nice house but Reid could definitely tell that Derek didn't keep a girl around long enough to add a feminine touch by the way that footballs, go bags, some still full of clothes, and a few chip bags lay strewn across the living room. He could never understand how he could live in a place like this but still look incredible and smell like old spice all the time.

Morgan walked over to the living room and placed the bag full of Spencer's clothes and personal items on the coffee table, picking up a few pieces of trash along the way thankfully.

"So just make yourself at home and I'll go get us something to eat." Morgan said as he walked back to the front door opening it. "Are you going to be alright alone or do you wanna go with me?" He asked earning a sore look from the younger. "No thank you Morgan I think I would prefer to stay here… if you trust me enough to let me be alone." He said the last part under his breath but the cold bitterness in his voice was speaking loud and clear. Derek sighed rubbing the back of his neck. "Fine, I will be back in a few minutes. If you want to take a nap or anything the bedroom is down the hall to the right." He said before walking out, closing the door behind him.

Spencer stood there looking after the man for a moment before grabbing his bag off of the small coffee table and walked down the hall in the direction he was told and opened the door to the guest room. For the most part it was not too bad for a guest room. It was nice sized and painted a dark pine brown with white borders. The bed was full sized and covered with crimson bedding with multiple black pillows. The floor of the room was wooden and echoed his footsteps as he crossed the room and sat down on the bed. He lay back on the soft bed staring at the ceiling his eyes following the ceiling fan blades as they slowly rotated in a circle.

This was insane. He did _not_ have to be babysat by Derek no matter how much he wanted to help. He was an adult for all holy's sake! He gave a quiet sigh before kicking of his shoes and crawling further onto the bed curling his knees up to his chest. He had to admit he was tired from all that has been going on, and the fact that he couldn't sleep for more than hour without waking up with either nightmares or restlessness that he hadn't had a good night's sleep. Forcing his thoughts to quiet down he found his eyes slipping closed and his body becoming heavy as sleep forced its heavy palm upon him.

*~*~*~Thirty Minutes Later~*~*~*~

_A tall dark beast loomed over Reid as he laid there staring into its bright nuclear acid color eyes. '_Open your eyes.'_ The beast smelled of rotting flesh that wafted into his nose every time it exhaled its putrid breath. '_Open your eyes." _Spencer was paralyzed with fear as a clawed hand was pulled back before slung forward and letting out its mighty roar. "RRAAAHHH-"_

Spencer Reid's eyes snapped open just as the claw of the huge monster dug its claws threw his flesh. Sweat covered the young genius sticking his hair to his skin while his breathing came in uneven intakes. He closed his eyes again trying to calm down his rattled nerves. Something cold and wet pressed itself up against his nose. He opened his eyes and stared into the eyes of a dog he had never seen. "Gyaha!" Spencer yelled causing him and the dog to fall off the bed opposite of each other. The dog started to bark at Reid, who by this point had jumped back on the bed when the dog started to circle around to his side again, as he tried to keep him away from him.

About the time that Reid let out the surprised yell Derek Morgan had just re-entered his home when he heard it and placed the food down on the table in his kitchen area to go and check out what just happened. When he reached the room all he could do was laugh at the scene before him. His dog, Clooney, was running around the bed trying to get up on it while Spencer was moving his foot to block the dogs attempt to jump while the whole time Clooney was barking up a storm at the young man. "Is everything alright in here?" He asked in an amused voice while Reid looked up at him with an upset expression on his face. "Why is there an insane animal running ramped in here?"

Spencer had never been warmly welcomed and or greeted by animals of any sort, except for a fish or two who were too stupid to understand anything, so this was very strange to him. He wasn't sure if he should be frightened or laugh at the antics it was doing. Instead of having the possibility of a dog attack he decided that fear was a better choice.

Clooney, hearing his master's voice, ran over to Morgan and started turning circles and jumping up and down in front of him. "This,' He said motioning to the dog he was now petting. "Is Clooney. He's my dog." Spencer, who finally calmed down enough to think rationally, glared at the older that was smiling and petting the dog instead of reprimanding it for scaring the holy hell out of him. Derek caught the look he was getting and sent the dog out of the room telling him to go find something. "Sorry 'bout him." He said. "He can get kind of excited when new people are around." This earned him a look. "Okay, fine, just…. Can I just rest, I'm really tired." Reid said. "You really need to eat first." Derek said hoping he would just do it instead of fighting it. Though it can never be that easy could it? "Morgan," He said in a tone that sounded more like despair then him wanting to fight. "I promise to eat when I wake up; I just really need to sleep." Morgan, taking that he would eat as some comforts, started back to the door. "Okay, oh, I picked up your prescription the Doctor gave you. It's on the table when you wake up." With that he left.

Reid, this time actually having changed into a pair of over sized pair of red pajama bottoms with little space ships and the words 'I come in peace' written all over them paired with a big black long sleeve shirt, climbed into the bed and under the covers. Though he knew he would not be sleeping much if the dream from earlier was any indication but thought it best to try anyways. He raised both wrists up above his head to look at them wrapped in the white sterile bandages, bringing back that sick feeling in his stomach.

He never meant for anyone to find out. It was just a way to get out some of his pent up frustrations without anyone getting hurt. '_Damn it'_ He thought feeling tears slide down his face. He shouldn't cry because it's his own fault for not being more careful. Getting tired of all his thoughts he turned off the light by the bed and turned towards the window in the room that was letting in a small amount of light though it was just enough for him to see everything. He had a feeling things were about to turn upside down in his life and was really not looking forward to it. With his thoughts running wild he let all his knowledge and statistics comfort him and lull him into a fitful sleep.

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><p><strong><em>Well...? What did you think? Good, Bad? Well if you want to review that would be nice. Have a happy thanks giving, gain twenty pounds and not feeling guilt untill after the fact is the best part. Untill next chapter!<em>**

**_Stay tuned for the next chapter of Wounded Heart!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter Four_

**_So here is chapter 4 (finally) It took me forever to write this between school and my parents. I will try to make the next chapter much better because I just wanted to get this one done. I especially can't wait to write the shopping scene! Wait three more chapters and there will definantly be some boy on boy action! Thanks to my readers and my reviewers, you make me feel like a fat house cat! (thats a very good thing)_**

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><p><em>*Bzzzt—Bzzzt—Bzzzt- * <em>It was 8:57 on a Friday when the gentle buzzing of Spencer Reid's phone woke him up. His eyes searched around the room trying to find something familiar to him then a second later he remembered he was at Morgan's house in the guest bed. The buzzing returned a moment later reminding him that he needed to find his phone. He started to move towards the right side of the bed so he could grab his bag that was next to the door yet instead of being graceful and actually walking to the door he ended up getting his foot wrapped up in the blankets and falling to the ground. "Ahahh-!" He quickly yelled before his side and back came in contact with the hard floor. "That hurt…" He mumbled reaching for his bag and finding his phone. He was so tired from not getting any sleep he was tempted to forget about the phone in his hand and opt for just laying there on the floor.

"Hello?" He grumbled into the receiver not bothering to check who it was or anything, though he wasn't quite in the mood to talk to the person on the other line. "Hey Spencer," Said Prentiss trying to sound upbeat, even if it did sound strained to both of them. "I was just calling to tell you and Morgan that the team is getting the entire week off today, and me and J.J. were wondering if you wanted to go shopping with us today-"

"Sorry but today is not good." He said hastily, interrupting the last part of her sentence. There was and disappointed 'oh' after he said this and could hear Emily talking with someone he could only perceive to be J.J. who also sounded disappointed. He felt guilty, even though he shouldn't, but decided to try and please the two. "Um, but maybe on Sunday we could go though?" He said as he moved from his position staring at the ceiling to sitting with his back against the wall and his knees to his chest. This perked the two ladies up as they said 'that be great' and 'awesome' before confirming their planes.

Reid closed his phone then hung his head and sighed. He felt the stress building up already just thinking about how he was going to be left alone with Morgan in his apartment while he 'supervised' him all week long. He would rather be at work doing his paperwork and reports instead. Giving one more sigh he got up from the floor and started out into the hall towards Derek's room. Emily had asked him to tell Morgan about them having the week off so he headed down the hall to the master bedroom to tell the older agent the news. He was about to knock when something all too familiar in an orange and white bottle on the coffee table caught his attention. Reid walked over to the table and picked up the bottle reading the label. It was the bottle of anti-depressants that the doctor proscribed for him.

Spencer glared at the bottle with total disgust and hatred before tossing the pills into the garbage then going back over to Derek's room and swung open the door. All thoughts of etiquette and politeness left his mind as he quickly walked over to Derek and shook his shoulder. This though turned out to be a mistake. Morgan grabbed onto the young geniuses wrist and flipped them over pulling something out from under his pillow.

So here was Spencer who looked like he was having a panic attack while Derek pinned him to the bed with a gun placed on the side of his head. After a second something seemed to register in the older agents mind that this was his friend and not some evil Unsub. He relaxed the gun onto the pillow and bowed his head onto Spencer's shoulder. "Spencer,' He mumbled. "Next time you want to wake me up you might want to try calling my name Pretty Boy."

Reid nodded to his statement as a blush crept onto his face. Derek was over him shirtless and in a pair of sweatpants. Spencer watched as the muscles on his back and arms rippled a little as he relaxed out of his defensive mode and could feel his abs against his stomach as Derek slowly laid back onto the bad being careful not to crush Reid's lithe body.

"Um, I just wanted to let you know that the team has the week off so you can sleep in." He mumbled quietly to the older agent who was still on top of him and looked as if he had no intention of removing himself. "Derek?" Spencer said trying to grab the others attention. "Derek!" He said again this time louder.

Derek grunted a reply letting him know he was listening. "C-can you get off of me?" He asked quietly and slightly embarrassed at how he was reacting to the feel of Morgan's body atop of his. With another grunt of reply Morgan turned himself onto his side releasing Spencer from his muscular imprisonment then promptly went back to sleep. Reid could only shake his head at how Morgan could go from 'I'm going to splatter your genius brain on my pillow' to the bear in hibernation before him now. He turned to exit the room closing the door behind him not wanting to be on the next episode of 'What happens when you wake a wild animal.'

"_God, this is going to be a long week."_ Spencer thought with a sigh as he walked back into his designated room for the time of his imprisonment to grab a change of clean clothes. A shower was always a good way for him to relax and he was definitely hoping that would be the case now. Also after that dream he had last night he was covered in the saltiness that still lingered after the sweat had disappeared.

Reid turned on the water letting it warm up. He stood in front of the sink looking into the mirror. Dark circles under his eyes were left as evidence of his sleepless nights and his hair stuck up in different directions. Spencer took off his shirt and looked over his lithe pale torso. He had to admit he was more feminine then most men in the B.A.U or the F.B.I for that matter. He had no abs but instead a smooth thin frame that had a slight curve adding to his femininity. Sighing he finished disrobing before stepping into the path of the warm water.

A shower seemed to be the one thing that always seemed to help his ever working brain put things into perspective, especially what just happened moments ago with Derek. Not knowing what to make of the whole thing was making Spencer's mind go haywire! His feeling for the man had been nothing but brotherly admiration for years, but he had admit the past few months he had felt an odd pang every time the man came to work bragging about his latest bang.

'_No, no, no! This is just all in my imagination!" _Reid had enough of this nonsense and decided to just carry on with his bathing routine.

*~*~*~After Shower~*~*~*

Spencer stepped out of the bathroom dressed in fresh clothes, his usual button up collar shirt with a vest and black slacks, carrying his pajamas and other toiletries back to his room when he heard something coming from the living room that sounded like Derek talking in something like baby talk. Being curious Reid slowly walked to the corner where the hall meets the wall to be met with the sight of the big bad Derek Morgan speaking baby talk to his dog while rubbing behind his ears.

"Well this is adorable." Spencer said with a small chuckle

Morgan looked up at the younger man with a smile on his face. He sent Clooney outside knowing that dogs were not his forte.

"Hey Pretty Boy." Morgan greeted before getting up and slowly making his way over to the other. He gently took Reid's freshly bandaged wrist in his large warm hand bringing it up to eye level. "We need to talk."

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><p><strong><em>Well, what did you think? I know it wasn't as up to par as usual but like i said the next one will be better! Well ja!<em>**


	5. Chapter 5

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter 5_

_**Okay I know this is short for a chapter but I have just been reaaaaaaaalllly busy. I test coming up and a whole bunch of project were due this week. Well I have at least given you something right? Please enjoy this chapter!**_

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><p>An awkward silence filled Derek Morgan's living room as both he and Dr. Spencer Reid sat across from each other; one trying to figure out how to talk about the situation at hand with Reid and his recent suicide attempt, and the other trying to figure a way out of having to talk about his little 'problem'. It seemed as though hours had gone by when Morgan finally decided to just jump right to the point.<p>

"Look, Reid,' He started out trying to sound as non-threatening as possible as to not make the younger become defensive. "What you are doing is not healthy and is a really serious problem."

Spencer couldn't believe this. Did Morgan think he was stupid or something? Of course he knew it wasn't healthy for him to do a little 'stress relief' but it was something that helped him deal.

"If you need someone to talk to then we can find you someone." Morgan kept his eyes fixed onto Reid's. It seemed like things were going good so far. "We can get you some help."

After those words left Derek's lips Spencer started to glare at the older man. "What?" He asked angrily. "Get me help?" His tone raised an octave at his last sentence.

Derek mentally cursed when he saw Spencer rise from the couch and start to pace the length of the room. He knew the younger well enough to know that when Reid was angry or upset he would start to pace as though it would help himself calm down and understand what was going on.

"Hey, all I meant was-" Reid cut him off half way through his sentence not wanting to hear it.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you meant." He said not bothering to stop his pacing. "Poor, crazy Dr. Reid, maybe if we pump him full of drugs and stick him in a tiny white padded room for the rest of his life we won't have to be bothered by his angst and annoying quirks." Spencer had practically been shouting by the end of his rant.

Derek couldn't think of a single thing to say to the kid. After all the years of friendship didn't Reid know him well enough to know that he wasn't going to be giving up that easily? Spencer came to stop in front of Morgan with a look of anger on his face and said something that Derek never thought he would hear come from his friend's mouth.

"Why don't you just mind your own fucking business and leave me alone! Why don't you go find some hussy to fuck instead of interfering with my personal life?"

'_What the fuck did you just say?' _Spencer mentally screamed once he finished his belittling of Morgan.

That was way too far. Morgan had a look of pure rage as he stood up from his chair and grabbed the Youngers shirt collar, pushing him up hard against the wall causing him to hit his head.

"Ah, D-Derek," Spencer stuttered out in fear. "I-I…"

Still glaring holes into Reid, Morgan made sure to speak in a voice that was full of control and superiority. "Don't you dare comment on my morals when you are the one slitting his wrist for the fun of it all."

There was a look of guilt that crossed the young Doctors face. Suddenly a wave of emotions started to build up in his chest.

"At least I'm living my life the best I can instead of trying to-" Morgan had now become quiet.

A small wet drop of liquid had plopped on to the dark skin of Derek's hand. He looked back at Reid's face to find twin streaming trails of tears flowing from his eyes. How had he not noticed this?

Slowly Derek lowered the other back to solid ground and released his shirt only to then pull him into a tight, comforting hug. "Please, just try to find something to live for." He then added in a lower voice. "If anything live for me."

Spencer, shoulders still shaking, had his face buried into the strong chest. Hesitantly he pulled his arms up and wrapped them around the other tightly. Human contact, something he hadn't had for a while. "Okay." He said sniffing softly as he started to calm his tears.

Derek felt a little relief when he heard this. It might seem simple and insignificant to others but to him it means that there might be a way to get through to his friend after all.

The younger started to become heavier in his arms and was leaning more into him. "Reid?" Derek asked but got no reply. He pushed him back slightly so he could look at his face only to find that he had fallen asleep, or passed out. Either way, he was out cold.

Morgan sighed softly as he stared at Reid, softer than he had looked at anyone else, and brought his hand up to softly caress the pale face lovingly. _"We'll get through this together somehow, I promise."_

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><p><strong><em>Soooo, how was it? Please Review if you would like to. Also to my fans who have not given up on me and my slow procrastination of a story! Luvs you all!<em>**


	6. Chapter 6

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter 6_

_**Hiii, here is chapter 6, Finally! This may seem a little jumbled but I promise you something is about to happen *Cough sex, *Cough... But hey, I'm just saying... or maybe it's not, IDK but either way here is a chapter for you!**_

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><p>This was bad; well, bad wasn't quite the right word for this situation, maybe a better way to put it would be nerve racking. Spencer Reid was curled up on the sofa of Derek Morgan, who was set with the task of babysitting the young man, desperately trying to avoid the fierce animal staring back at him from the ground. Why wasn't big bad Derek there protection little defenseless Spencer in his hour of need? Morgan had gone to the supermarket to pick up some essential needs for the time they were going to be off, leaving the young man at the will of the ferocious beast that the man willingly lived with.<p>

When Reid woke up on the couch there seemed to be a gap in his memory. The last thing he remembered was Morgan and him were talking, or arguing, about his little "problem" and then everything started going dark and wavy, like he was under water and the floor fell away from his feet; after that, everything was a black hole, that is until he woke up to the huge animal staring at him... again.

"Nice doggy...' He muttered trying to squirm further into the couch. 'J-just stay right there."

His eyes flashed towards the sliding doors leading outside towards sweet freedom only a few feet away. Clooney, noticing that the boy had started moving away, excitedly got up off the floor with his tail wagging thinking he was going to play with him Finally. "Bragh, bragh!" The big dog barked getting ready to jump up onto the sofa to play, while Spencer jumped up onto the top of said sofa getting ready to bolt for the door.

Just as he was about to make his move the front door opened to Derek carrying grocery bags. In that distracted moment, Clooney took the opportunity to jump the younger in a surprise attack sending Reid into panic. He jumped over the dog onto the ground and around behind the older who was putting the bags down onto the kitchen table.

"Whoa, hey," Morgan said surprised by the person now latched onto the back of his shirt. "It's alright Pretty boy, Clooney's just excited." The dog had now pranced over and sat in front of the pair, tail wagging so fast it could start a hurricane, happy to see his owner back.

"Ha, excited" Reid snorted at the comment. "I think the word you're looking for is screwy, frenzied, or raving!" No matter how the dog acted around the big softy, he knew the truth about animals, and it was that they did not like him in anyway.

The man shook his head, laughing at how ridiculous the younger was being. "Okay, Okay calm down, I'll go put him out side alright?" He said hoping to calm the kid down some.

Spencer nodded into his back reluctant to release the fabric in his grip, though he had to if he wanted Clooney separated from him by the sliding glass door. Once the dog was outside Reid finally started to loosen up to his normal tense state, brushing some fallen hair out of his face.

"T-thanks for, uh, helping me..." Reid muttered quietly, embarrassed that the older agent saw him acting like a scared little girl because of a dog.

Morgan smirked at the kid as he watched him become semi-flustered, thinking it was kind of cute. Wait... cute? Yeah... yeah that was definitely the thought going through his head, and truth be told, it wasn't as weird as he would of imagine it to be, though now was not the time to be thinking about this; the main objective is to get Spencer better and back to work, not try to make a pass at him.

Pushing the thought far, far from his mind for the moment, Derek walked back over to the grocery bags, picking up one and handing it to the boy. "Here, help me put these up eh?" Spencer muttered a quiet 'sure' before bringing the heavy brown sack into the kitchen, glad this moment was pushed aside before it turned to awkward.

*~*~*(- 0 - ;)*~*~*

Staring at the date on his phone, Reid wished he could turn back time to undo his plans for Sunday; shopping with J.J. and Prentiss. It wasn't that he disliked the women, quite the opposite of that, he just knew they were doing it out of pity and that rubbed Spencer the wrong way. The only thing he could do about this now was to go with them as promised and get it over with quickly and without being there play thing for too long.

Feeling the stress starting to build up, Reid plopped down onto his assigned bed hoping so quiet would help him think, though it seemed to just fuel the screaming in his head. His hand started to rub and strangle his bandaged arm, wishing he could feel the cools silver blade run across his skin once more, sending that numb feeling through his entire being until it was as if he merely existed in this world without any part to play in it but that of spectator.

Sadly though, he knew this would never happen; Derek had everything with a point or potential for a harmful object locked up somewhere that he knew Spencer would never find it.

As he lay there, contemplating if he could break off enough of the bathroom mirror that Morgan would never notice it was gone; a sick scent wafted through the air and straight into the Younger's senses. He knew what this was and he knew this day was going to get worse.

Derek walked into Spencer's room carrying a smoothie of sorts; if he wouldn't eat food maybe he would drink something that would give him some sort of nutritional value. Though from the look on the kid's face, he knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Look, I know you don't want to," The dark man said in a calmly. "But you need to." Spencer had not ate anything in the last two days he had been there, but when he was talking to the doctor the night they brought the bleeding boy in, he said it seemed as if he had not eaten anything in days. If this was the only way he could help his Pretty Boy out, then so be it.

"No," He said simply, not caring that he sounded like a spoiled child or not. He wasn't hungry so why should he be forced to eat anything let alone drink some smoothie that could have his pills ground up in them.

This whole thing got very old very quickly as Morgan stood watching the young, stubborn man. "Fine," He said as he quickly strides across the room, leaving Reid with no warnings as he was pushed against the soft fabric. "You leave me no choice."

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><p><em><strong>It seems erratic, but I have a reason you will see soon enough. Please Review, and what not (Be Brutal O . O ) and just know that I do really want to finish this story, just people you know? <strong>_

_**Stay tuned for the next chapter of Wounded Heart!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_Wounded Heart_

_Chapter 7_

_**Hey, so, sorry for being away so long, super busy. Here's a chapter that I just wrote, have some others but haven't edited them yet so they will be up sooner or later. ^ w^;**_

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><p>Derek, taking a mouth full of the liquid, reaching a hand down to the doctor's side and groped a sensitive spot that was a known ticklish area, forcing his mouth open. He bent down and connected his lips onto the others and forced it into his mouth.<p>

Just the taste of the foul liquid was enough to make Spencer struggle against the obviously stronger agent atop of him. The texture was thick and the taste was a mixture of fruity and bitter that should never be allowed to exist in this world.

Though when their lips pressed together an electrical current ran through his entire being, making every inch of his skin rise with goose bumps. This was a feeling he's never experienced before, and that mixed with the vomit inducing drink caused every wire in his brain to go haywire.

"Swallowing it will make this go quicker kid," Derek said. He wiped away some of the drink that dripped down his chin. "This is the only way you are going to get any nutrition apparently so I gotta do what I gotta do."

Finally giving in, Reid forced the thick grainy liquid down his throat. He could feel every drop of the disgusting drink leave his mouth and fought against the need to gag. Spencer lay against the bed, gasping for air.

"W-what was that stuff," He questioned, hoping Derek didn't just try to poison him. "It was revolting!"

Morgan breathed a small laugh as he stared at the drink in his hand. "Three different fruits, some milk, vitamin powder, eggs, and some vegetables," He smirked at the man trapped under him. "Basically, a meal in a cup."

Just the look on Spencer's face told Derek how much he hated the concoction but what choice did he have? He was entrusted with ensuring the kid would be taken care of and if this was the only way, so be it.

"I told you," Derek started, getting off of the other and sitting on the bed beside him. "I'm going to help you whether you like it or not, cause I care what happens, whether you like it or not."

_"He's serious,"_ Thought Spencer as he lay staring at the ceiling_. "He really wants to help, and he's not going to give up until he does."_

Reaching out, Reid took hold of the agents hand in a tight grasp. "Okay," He said flinging his arm over his face to hide the tears. "I'll try... For you, I'll try."

This was good enough for Derek. He entwined his fingers with the pale hand and gave a comforting squeeze. They would work together to fight whatever it was the kid was feeling, together they could do anything.

"There is one thing I need you to do though," Derek murmured, kicking back on top of the younger, pinning his arms above his head. "You are going to finish this drink by whatever means necessary."

Wide eyed, Spencer stared up into the others dark eyes. "Never," He countered, hoping his voice didn't quiver too much.

"We'll see about that," Taking another swig of the awful mixture Derek prepared for another fight.

"Don't you dare, Derek, I mean it," The older just kept getting closer and closer. "I swear if you even try I-!"

*~*~*~ /)( 3 ),/) ~*~*~*

Derek ran out of Spencer's designated room and quickly closed the door. He had managed to force the entire cup down the geniuses' throat, but not without a fight.

"For a kid who sits and reads all day he can definitely hold his own when he doesn't want to do something," He murmured.

As he walked to the kitchen, empty glass in hand, his hand reached up and unconsciously rubbed his lips. Through this whole ordeal there was one thing that kept running through his head.

_"His lips sure were soft,"_

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><p><strong><em>So, How did you like it? Please leave a comment on what you though and favorite or just read it and enjoy it. Thanks for being patient and loyal (LOL)<em>**


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